Pin by Carla Chipman on Funny in 2020 Lottery winner, Best quotes


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1) Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 2) Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish! 3) Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! 4) Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. 5) How did the undead realize they hit the jackpot?


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Mitch Hedberg A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. Don Marquis "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - A. A. Milne Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln


Quotes about Lottery Ticket (67 quotes)

Best Lottery Quotes. "Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?" ~ Jay Leno. "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math." ~ Ambrose Bierce. "I have never played the lottery in my life and never will. Voltaire described lotteries as a tax on stupidity.


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powerball jackpot meme. Leave it to this Bernie lottery meme to dish the Powerball odd truth. You chances of winning the lottery are 1 in 292.2 million. But like I tell my husband, if you don't play you can't win! bernie lottery meme. May the lottery odds be in your favor (hey, you never know!)


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Here are some light-hearted and funny lottery jokes to make you smile. Winning the lottery is often a dream come true, but it doesn't always go to plan. So, if you're feeling a bit down about your lottery win, or you just need a good laugh, check out these jokes. What's the difference between a lotto ticket and a parking ticket?


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1 Copy Forget the lottery. Bet on yourself instead. Brian Koslow 0 Copy A lottery is the perfect tax.laid only upon the willing. George Washington 0 Copy Winning the lottery is winning the lottery. It's highly unlikely and very unusual. Lori Lansens 0 Copy Life's a lottery, and man should make up his mind to the blanks. George Colman the Elder 1


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Peter Lynch Forget the lottery. Bet on yourself instead. Brian Koslow I loved 'A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.' I read it later as an adult, but I loved 'We Have Always Lived in a Castle.' And that brings you around to 'The Lottery.' You can't pretend - it's a lottery in which you draw a name and people die.


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Copy Before that lottery ticket won the jackpot, someone had to buy it. - Vera Nazarian Copy Life's a lottery, and man should make up his mind to the blanks. - George Colman the Elder Copy Forget the lottery. Bet on yourself instead. - Brian Koslow Copy Winning a lottery may prove to be bad luck. - James Cook Copy


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Winning, Snow, Hobbes. 26 Copy quote. If we find it hard to believe that winning millions might not be so lucky after all, we just don't have a good enough imagination. If I fantasise about winning the lottery, it doesn't take long before all sorts of worrisome potential consequences occur to me.


I don't even play the lottery, but I still have a better chance of

Here are some lottery-related puns used in movies: "It's like the lottery, you gotta be in it to win it." - "Little Miss Sunshine". "The odds of hitting the jackpot in Vegas are better than the odds of winning the lottery. But if you don't play" - "21". "Winning the lottery doesn't make you lucky, it just makes you a.


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Steven Wright. Funny, Humor, Dollars. 3 Copy quote. Reading, conversation, environment, culture, heroes, mentors, nature - all are lottery tickets for creativity. Scratch away at them and you'll find out how big a prize you've won.


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"Luck is not as random as you think. Before that lottery ticket won the jackpot, someone had to buy it." ― Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration tags: chance , fortunate , fortune , improving-chances , lottery , luck , lucky , making-your-luck , not-so-random , random , randomness , ticket , timed , win , winning 29 likes Like


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1. Why couldn't the lottery winner fasten their seatbelt? They were strapped for cash! 2. Did you hear about the angry lottery player? They had a lot to vent after losing. 3. How do you know that a lottery winner is a good driver? They always speed up their car payments! 4. Why do lottery players love the gym? It's a jackpot for getting fit! 5.


Found on iFunny Lottery winner, Funny today, Lottery

Funny Quotes 1. "I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later." —Mitch Hedberg 2. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the.


Pin on My Bestie and Me

They both go into a hotel room, they get a room side-by-side. One dwarf goes into one, the other goes into the other. First dwarf sits on the bed and thinks, 'I think can't do it' and decides to kick her out. He sits on the bed and all night he hears from the other room is 'eh eh eh'.